Sibling Rivalry

As a father of two boys which we intentionally had eighteen months apart (for some strange reason), I have had my fair share of experience with this topic.  Boys, by nature are, on a good day, always jockeying for position, seeing if they can outdo each other, looking for opportunities to distinguish themselves in some way to their mother and I.  To our dismay, on bad days they demonstrate some of the most disturbing of human behaviors.  Don’t get me wrong, they are great kids but they are just that kids, and by definition, immature in their relational and emotional development. 

When kids act immaturely it’s understandable.  When adults do so, it’s pretty ugly.  I know this from watching some of my own behavior. The problem of adults behaving badly has been going on from the beginning.  It’s appalling the amount of blood that’s been shed by people trying to get one up on someone else.  From early on the children of God have been engaging in sibling rivalry. The scriptures tell us of an instance between the first two brothers Cain and Able and the end result is murder.

We all have been in that place where we feel like someone else is making us look bad.  It may be nothing more than them doing something well that pushes our buttons, but regardless of the circumstances, sibling rivalry results in drama, pain, and ugly behavior.  I wish I had a dollar for every time that I sat my boys down and told them that I love them equally and that when one of them does something to hurt or make the other look bad that it hurts my heart. 

When it comes to the family of God things don’t get much better.  From the earliest days of Christianity, we see sibling rivalry rearing its’ ugly head.  The gospels tell a story of the disciples arguing amongst themselves about which of them was going to be the greatest in the kingdom.  In the presence of the Creator of the universe, whom they had witnessed raise the dead, heal the sick, and set those in bondage free, they are fighting over who is going to be Jesus’ right hand man.  Instead of making much of number one they are fighting to see who gets to be number two. 

I would like to say that 2000 years of church history would bring about more maturity on our part, but in my experience nothing could be further from the truth.  Unfortunately, sibling rivalry isn’t limited to relationships between individuals.  From the very time of Christ we see interactions like the one recorded in Mark, chapter nine.  Some of the disciples are telling Jesus that they had witnessed others doing good in His name, but they told them to stop it because they were not a part of “their group”.  Modern Christianity, at least the western style, is marked with division.  Whether Catholic or Protestant, Baptist,  Pentecostal, Methodist, Charismatic, or Lutheran, Christian organizations seem to feel the need to point out how they are different and therefore it is inferred, better, than those who do, or believe, otherwise.  One organization I have been involved with in the past has listed one of their beliefs as their “distinctive doctrine”.   Seems innocent enough but it basically means this where we get it right and everyone else gets it wrong.   Early on in my marriage, my wife and I discovered that both of us as children had either caught or been taught that if you were not part of our particular brand of Christianity, that chances are that you might not even make it to Heaven.  Well you might make it, but it would be some dumpy little corner of heaven that you would be relegated too.  Even between different local churches in most communities there seems to be a competition to see who can do this church thing best and therefore attract more of the Christians in a particular location to be a part of their particular organization.  I have a friend who is a local pastor and he shared a recent conversation with me.  One of the members of his worship team had asked to speak with him because he needed to let him know that he no longer was going to be a part of the church.  It seems that he had been recruited to play his instrument in the worship band at a church of over a thousand in the same town.  The larger church had actually sent someone to observe the man playing his instrument in the worship band at the smaller church to observe his talent and then recruited him to play in their worship band.  During my college years in a different city, I remember hearing frequent advertisements on a Christian Radio station for an up and coming new church talking about how they had the best children's ministry programs in the city.  While I’m not even able to judge my own motives accurately most of the time, it does seem logical that at least the subconscious motive for actions like these would be to get more people to attend your church so you can feel like you’re the best in a given community, or to improve the resumes of a particular leader, or at the worst, to bring more money into the church coffers for one reason or another.   

All of these things support my recent conclusion that much of Christianity has been made in our image, us-focused, consumer driven, and by doing so, understandably confusing to those who come to Christ, start attending a church, and see much of the world’s philosophies, attitudes, and policies on full display.  Don’t get me wrong I believe that the real church exists in every Christian congregation in the world.  That’s because the church is people, not doctrine, nor organizations, nor denominations or leadership structures.  We the people who are followers of Christ in relationship with God, via Christ’s sacrifice, we are the church.  

To all of this jockeying for position and competition for attenders, Jesus simply says, “He who wants to be the greatest must be the servant of all.”  In my opinion, we don’t see this demonstrated often enough.  The basis of the gospel requires all of us to lay aside our “right to be right” in exchange for doing what is in the best interest of others.  Oh, that we would stop fighting with and comparing ourselves to our brothers and sisters and start looking to serve them instead.  Check out Rediscover Hope inspirational sample.

Another Thing To Do :(

Another thing to do, another appointment, outside demands on my time.  Others’ expectations, my own expectations, prioritization.  Failure, readjustment, robbing Peter to pay Paul, disciplinary problems with kids’ attitudes, misunderstandings, offenses, worries, fears, bills, smaller paychecks, extended family, work, tax prep, finding time for things that are supposed to be most important, helping my fellow man, giving to church and others, listening to a friend.  Trying to be a good neighbor.  Is this the good life, real life, or really life at all?

Enter Jesus.

“Are you tired?  Worn out?  Burned out on religion?  Come to me.  Get away with me and you’ll recover your life.  I’ll show you how to take a real rest.  Walk with me and work with me -watch how I do it.  Learn the unforced rhythms of grace.  I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you.  Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”                                   Matthew 11:23-30  

I spent time with Jesus and He reminded me that I should give myself as much grace as He does, that if I put knowing Him better first in my life, He would take care of the rest.  He reminded me that living with Him in my daily life is better than trying to live up to people’s expectations.  He told me that I am at my best when I allow him to be at my side, that He didn’t come to condemn me but to save me from myself and those who would condemn me.  He reminded me that just because someone says they are his messenger doesn’t mean everything they say is golden, that He wants direct access to me without any go-betweens.

Let me encourage you to let this be a year where you know Jesus better and better- not just a year where you learn more about him, but a year where you get to know him.  Remember that He wants to be known by you far more than you want to know him better, so moving even just a little in that direction will yield great results.  

For more encouraging messages with insights about Jesus and His good news to us please join us for City Light Rediscover Hope.  This one hour Saturday night event is designed for adults who are looking for encouragement, inspiration, and hope.  For a sample of what the meeting will be like visit the link below or just come on out and join us. The event lasts from 6:30-7:30 at 708 SW Gage in the Safety Training Solutions building.   What to expect from Rediscover Hope Christian Inspirational Event

Pivotal Truths Christians Need To Understand part1.

1. Christianity is a category of religion established by this world’s scholars.  Christians are people living in ongoing relationship with Jesus.  They are noted to be so by their culture because of what others can see happening in their lives.  Jesus didn’t come to establish a new religion, but to deliver people from the burdens of religion.   

Matthew 11:28 MSG “Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.”

2. People are not collateral or a church’s workforce to be used to bring about the growth of the church or the implementation of a leader’s vision.  The church is supposed to be about what is best for the growth of the people, helping them establish vision for their own lives and families.  Christ didn’t establish the church to develop programs for reaching people he is reaching people who become the church, who then shine the light of Christ in everyday lives. 

Romans 12 :1 “Here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering.”

3. Jesus didn’t come to correct your bad behavior so the church is not a tool for behavior modification.  Jesus came to wipe away the consequences for our sins to allow us access to God so that He could transform us as we focus on him.  

Romans 12:2 “Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out.”

4. God is not looking to micromanage our lives.  He delights is seeing his children learn to make decisions for themselves using the experience and wisdom that He gives to pursue their passions and advance his Kingdom here on the earth.  As a result Christians are not foot soldiers in the army of God who just get up everyday and ask for their marching orders.  Christians are ambassadors, agents, and independent operators who look to God for direction when the path becomes less obvious.

John 15:15-16 “I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. ¹⁶ You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you.” 

5. While all of scripture is true, the way in which God relates to us under the new covenant is to be governed by the Good News or Gospel not by the law and the prophets.  Certainly the law has not passed away, but it has been fulfilled setting us free to live in Christ under grace instead of under a bondage to a certain set of rules which we find harder and harder to follow when we focus on following them instead of on getting to know Jesus better and better. 

Luke 16:16 “Until John the Baptist, the law of Moses and the messages of the prophets were your guides. But now the Good News of the Kingdom of God is preached, and everyone is eager to get in. ¹⁷ But that doesn’t mean that the law has lost its force. It is easier for heaven and earth to disappear than for the smallest point of God’s law to be overturned.”

Matthew 5:17 “Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them.”

Do You Have the Audacity to Get Engaged?

When I was engaged, I spent nearly every waking hour thinking about my soon-to-be wife.  Virtually every spare minute was spent looking for ways to show her how much I cared.  I’m amazed by how romantic I was back then, and frankly a little embarrassed at how far removed from those involvements I can become today.  But that’s the subject for a different blog.  The word audacity means boldness or daring, especially with confident disregard for personal safety, conventional thought, or other restrictions.  The term engaged means deeply involved or occupied with another.  As humans, and particularly as Americans, our culture tends to put all of the focus on us.  Therefore it almost seems audacious to engage people around us.  After all, we may never even see them again.  (All the more reason to make the most of this opportunity.)  But we have an opportunity- shoot, even a responsibility- as Christians to become engaged with those we find ourselves around each day.  There’s someone that needs encouragement, a kind word, or a pleasant smile just feet from us each day.  Disengaging from the worries and business of our minds will free up the mental energy to pay the attention required to impact someone else positively.  After all, Jesus said that the most important commandments were to “Love the Lord… and to love your neighbor as yourself.”  If you are like most of us, you may not even know your neighbor next door, but we have people all around us most days.  Let’s have the Guts, the Raw Fortitude, and the Audacity to Get Engaged.

Getting Back to God's Idea

We as Christians are the Church, not merely members of a church but the composition of The Church itself.  We who have come to Christ, are a house made up of living stones being built by the Lord as we grow in maturity and in our numbers.   The building is not the church, so we no longer ”go to church”. The church is not as series of events, so we don’t “attend church”. The church is not a standard set of rituals, or practices, so we don’t “do church” These false concepts must be shed in order for us to truly accomplish what the Lord had in mind for us in the beginning. When the church doesn't function in the manner that it was intended to it's difficult for it to accomplish the purpose for which it was established.  In the early days of the church,  gatherings were conducted in public places as well as in private homes, but the church was being lived out everywhere that Christians went. For the church is constructed of living stones, the people of God.  I would suggest to you that Christ intended for us to go live Him out in whatever venue we are in   We need to be fully committed to discovering what God intended the church to be and then helping the believers around us to be just that,                                                                            The Church.