I’m an
Idea Guy. The problem is that I often
short-circuit myself by pursuing ideas that seem good at the time but, when
evaluated in light of more information (and I think that’s what wisdom is- the
application of true knowledge), I become painfully aware that the idea was not
good for me to pursue at that time. I
recently took a job helping people at a company with an excellent reputation
because I was running short of work in my renovation business. A friend told me about an opening at the
company, and I took a look at their job posting. The job description seemed like something I
had done in the past and had really enjoyed; however, the wording of the posting
was fairly vague, and I immediately started filling in the blanks of my
questions with assumption-oriented answers.
I had the job all worked out in my head to be just a slight variation on
my past job’s description. To make a
long story short, three days into a six-week long training, it was becoming painfully
clear to me that most of this job was not going to be enjoyable to me at
all. I spent several hours with others
who were doing what I would be doing in just six short weeks. Watching and listening to them, I heard my
heart sort of gasp, as if this job (the real one- not the one in my head) was
going to be sort of a prison for me. It
removed all of my flexibility, which is very much needed for someone who is
helping to plant a new church. It very
much limited my ability to excel in the areas that I know that I am good at and
would force me to spend nearly a full third of my time doing things which I
knew I despise. Well, maybe this is sort
of a disciplining I am receiving form the Lord, I thought. Like God enjoys forcing us to do things over
and over again that we don’t find fulfilling.
Like He is just going to do whatever it takes for me to learn the
lessons I seem to fail to comprehend. I
cried out “Why, God?” in my head from the shackled state which I had decided to
occupy. Then His words came to me: “Did
you ask me about taking this job, or did you just assume that because it was helping
people, at a company with an excellent reputation, and because you needed
income, that it was a God-send?” I poured
over my memories for the one where I had spent time asking God to show me if
this was a good job for me, and I realized that I had no such memory. This happened to me because I had been operating
from a place of desperation. I need
money, so I need this job. I do remember
praying, “God, don’t let them offer this job to me unless it’s part of your
plan for my life,” but while that prayer was sincere, it sort of fell into the
vein of the prayers I prayed as a teenager like, “God, please make the girl I
like want to date me.” The point is that
God usually doesn’t violate the free will that He has chosen to give each of us,
and God forcing the employer to hire me would be like Him being the ultimate puppet
master, pulling all the strings behind the scenes to bring about the desired
result. While we like to think of Him
that way when we want something for ourselves, we don’t like to think of Him
that way with regard to being forced to do things by an omnipotent God.
Now for
some perspective: I do believe in pursuing
good ideas. In fact, I can’t think of
too many times we are more Christ-like than when we are being creative in our
thought processes. I just believe that
our good ideas ought to be tested in light of as much truth as one can obtain
ahead of time, and then acted upon in faith if they pass that test. I do understand that God is omnipotent and could
force things to happen, but I also know that He is omniscient and knows what
decisions people will make and uses them to bring about His plan as well. As for the job, I consulted my wife, prayed
over it, slept on it, and resigned on my fourth day to an employer who was very
gracious and thanked me for doing it now instead of six weeks from now after
much money and effort had gone into training me for the job. I walked away from that conversation with a
ton of weight off of my shoulders and a better perspective on decision making. Any decision made in fear, or out of desperation
for anything other than God, ends up leading me into bondage to the negative
emotion that led me to make the decision in the first place. As
for my needs, the first few hours after resigning netted me several bid jobs
that will take care of my budget for the month.
“We pray
for you all the time—pray that our God will make you fit for what he's called
you to be, pray that he'll fill your good ideas and
acts of faith with his own energy so that it all amounts to something.” 2
Thessalonians 1:11
